I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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