so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
