is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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