Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
