I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
