I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
