i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
