first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
