you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
