google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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