Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
