I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
