my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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