Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
