the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
