I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
