I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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