I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
