You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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