READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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