it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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