Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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