We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
