It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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