so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
