and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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