they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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