did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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