You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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