My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
