woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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