im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
