found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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