some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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