But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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