He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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