Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
