I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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