is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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