You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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