Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
