Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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