I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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