im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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