I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
