Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
