He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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