my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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