I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
