"it" just moved
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
