What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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