I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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